A Republican-Backed Oklahoma Tea Party Paramilitary? Sounds About Right

Huffington Post, April 14 2010

"Tea Party activists and Republican state legislators in Oklahoma are discussing creating a state-wide volunteer militia to 'protect state sovereignty.' Sure, why not? Screaming gibberish at people hasn’t worked. Surreptitiously harassing Congresspeople and their siblings isn’t as satisfying as one might expect."  (more...)

White House Stands by Geithner, Citing His Ignorance

Huffington Post, January 11 2010

"If government serves only to amplify the already considerable power of the mighty, then it’s about as useful to the average person as a credenza is to a horse."  (more...)

This Recession Couldn't Be Any Overer

Huffington Post, October 27 2009

"Wall Street represents the best people — the money people, the people that make our economy happen. Without the rich, we are nothing. So we should totally focus on how to make Wall Street richer as fast as we possibly can."  (more...)

Shouting Matches Between People, Straw Men at Town Halls

Huffington Post, August 11 2009

"There are patriots among us who realize that a battle is raging. These foot soldiers of freedom have seized our town halls to loudly, incoherently speak truth to power."  (more...)

Sarah Palin to Alaska: And This Bird You Cannot Change

Huffington Post, July 27 2009

"See, we realize that, just as the cagey Poles continued to rely on horse power well into the mechanized era, so too is the continued greatness of the United States dependent on pouring money and effort into finding and hoarding fossil fuels."  (more...)

If You Want To Make An Omelette, You've Got To Torture Some Guys

Huffington Post, May 28 2009

"But some people, oddly enough, don't want to just chill like a yeti at the top of Mount Everest. Some people would rather stress about this torture stuff, when there are plenty of good reasons to forget about it and get back to rockin' and rollin'."  (more...)

Corn, Grant Wood and Gay Marriage: Welcome to Iowa

Huffington Post, April 3 2009

"According to this line of thought, if we allow something as abominable as the legal formalization of gay relationships, then what's to stop people from marrying a thousand concubines or eating babies or pooping wherever they want. Why, denying homosexuals civil rights is the very lynchpin of our social order!"  (more...)

Pay No Attention to the Man Buying All that Cesium

Huffington Post, March 12 2009

"You remember dirty bombs, right? The thing Mohammedans were going to use to rain radioactive material all over our freedom, so go buy duct tape and plastic sheeting, right? Just like that, except this one was real."  (more...)

Michael Phelps' Next Disgrace: Listening to Jazz?

Huffington Post, February 6 2009

"Every night, young aquaphiles across the country bow their sweet heads and pray to be stricken with Marfan's Syndrome so they can be "like Mike." What will they pray for now? Marijuana parties?"  (more...)