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Scientific study disproving global warming actually doesn’t at all

January 11, 2010

A climate expert at a German university published a study about cooling ocean temperatures affecting weather for the next decade. And people who think that global warming is some sort of inscrutable ponzi scheme or whatever seized on this study and cried, “A-ha! See, there’s nothing wrong with my Hummer!” And then that climate expert called The Guardian to say, “WTF? That’s not the point at all.” So The Guardian published this article, which is good. Two best quotes:

  1. “Nobody would discuss the problem of [Einstein's theory of] relativity in the media. But because we all experience the weather, we all believe that we can assess the global warming problem.”
  2. “I have said that if my name was not Mojib Latif it would be global warming.”

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Geither Puts the “I” in AIG

January 11, 2010

If government serves only to amplify the already considerable power of the mighty, then it’s about as useful to the average person as a credenza is to a horse.

Read the rest at Huffington Post here.

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The Recession is Dead! Long Live the Recession!

October 27, 2009

Over at Huffington Post, Jack Mackerel makes a persuasive argument about how to get the economy back on track:

Wall Street represents the best people — the money people, the people that make our economy happen. Without the rich, we are nothing. So we should totally focus on how to make Wall Street richer as fast as we possibly can.

Check out the rest here.

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Scientists Massively Disillusion Moscow’s Goth Teens

September 28, 2009

Everybody is familiar with the well-earned reputation that Russian leaders had for being 100% correct and truthful all the time, forever, yes? Well, prepare to spend this week dramatically reevaluating your entire worldview! Because DNA testing has revealed that a bone fragment on display in Moscow since 2000 – which was jealously guarded by Soviet intelligence for decades in the belief that it was a piece of Hitler’s skull – did not once partially encase the brain of Der Führer, but rather came from the body of some female under-40 non-Hitler person. So if you’ve been bragging to friends that you saw a chunk of Hitler’s skull during your year working out of RBS’s Moscow office, bad news: turns out you were gawking at the remains of some random lady who got shot in the head. Way to go, jerk.

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Roman Polanski Will Never Accept Another Award, Ever Again

September 27, 2009

On the lam since 1978, Roman Polanski has finally been nabbed by Johnny Law. Johann Law? Is that what they say in Zurich? Sure. Polanski, the Oscar-winning director and world-renowned photogrorapist, turned up at the Zurich Film Festival to accept a lifetime achievement award and attend a champagne-and-quaalude after party, but instead was thrown in the clink by Swiss law enforcement, proving that you can never know too much about international extradition agreements. While his case is considered by Swiss courts, Polanski will be held in a chocolate chalet, subsisting only on fondue and communicating only by yodeling. Switzerland!

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